Steadfast, Immovable, Abounding

This is the first installment in my series of posts on Jesus’ disciples.

***While this series will discuss the disciples of Christ, you may notice that there will not be twelve parts. This is not because I think some of them were less faithful or less used by the Lord than others. Due to the lack of Biblical information about several of the disciples, I feel I would be wrongfully and unreasonably speculating about God’s word if I tried to draw spiritual application from the little we know of their lives.***

In John 6, the disciples of Jesus have a problem—a large crowd (five thousand men, plus women and children, according to the other gospels) has followed Jesus and His miracles in search of the healing they desire. The people are hungry, and the disciples have nothing to feed them. In verse 5-6, we read, “Therefore Jesus, lifting up His eyes and seeing that a large crowd was coming to Him, said to Philip, ‘Where are we to buy bread, so that these may eat?’ This He was saying to test him, for He Himself knew what He was intending to do.” Philip must have wondered why Jesus, the One who knows all things, would ever ask him for a solution. But another disciple volunteers some information: “One of His disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to Him, ‘There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are these for so many people?’” (v. 8-9).

When you think about it, it almost seems foolish for Andrew to even mention this pitiful offering. As he admits himself, “what are these for so many?” But he still does it. He still offers the little that he has and lets Jesus decide what to do with it. What about us? What do we do when we see no solution to the problem, but only a crowd of troubles with no end in sight? Andrew could have tried to solve the problem on his own; he could have decided that only the poorest, or the wealthiest, or the most hungry, or the ones on the front row got to eat. He could have done his best to fix the situation—but without a miracle, his best efforts would be absurdly inadequate.

Paul writes in Philippians 4:19, “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” We all know God will give us everything we need to do His work. But I think we sometimes allow ourselves to be overcome with the seemingly contradictory emotions of insecurity and pride. We start by questioning our worth in God’s eyes, knowing that we do not deserve His grace. More and more, we reject His freely-offered help, desiring to prove ourselves in His eyes and show Him and the world our spiritual strength. These efforts develop into a sickening arrogance, as with every thought and action, we declare over and over again that we don’t need God—which was our unspoken intention all along.

When you don’t know what to do, when the problem is bigger than you can even grasp, when life feels like a train hurtling down a mountain, and you’re the conductor—then stop being the conductor. Stop trying to fix everything in your life and simply be still. Stand before the Lord with empty hands and open ears, surrendering to Him the pride, the insecurity, the preconceived notions of what our God is capable of. “‘Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10).

As I mentioned earlier, Andrew obviously has some doubts when he tells Jesus of the inadequate meal he has found. It reminds me of the father who brings his demon-possessed son to Jesus in Mark 9. In verses 22-24, he says, “‘But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!’ and Jesus said to him, “‘If You can?” All things are possible to him who believes.’ Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, ‘I do believe; help my unbelief.” Such is the appeal of so many of us who have trusted everything in the hands of the Lord, yet at times still fear He may drop it all. Yet the wonderful thing about God’s plan is that He gives us the faith we lack. We don’t need to conceal our fears from Him, and it is truly pointless to try.

We probably all know the rest of the story—Jesus performs a miracle, and the five thousand are fed with one little boy’s meal. One moment of trust, and Andrew got to see his Master do an amazing work of which he could never have dreamed. As Elizabeth Elliot said, “Don’t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith.” If we claim to trust God, we can’t keep a death-grip over the things we worry the most about. Remember what Jesus said about the widow who gave her last two coins to the treasury? “‘This poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on’” (Mark 12:43-44). What is your last thing you are still hanging on to? Keep releasing your problems to God until you stand empty-handed before Him. Only then will you be filled to overflowing.